Thursday, September 01, 2005

Israeli Pimping Aint Easy

Well, Fateful Readers (misspelling intentional), it's time for another one of my Israel stories. This one isn't as long or eventful as my last one, but for me, it was a lot funnier. And weirder.

After our trip through the desert, we stayed for a few days at a youth hostel in Eilat. A bunch of tired, windswept and generally weary kids get up to the floor with our rooms on it. What could be a better greeting for us then obnoxious Israeli teens?!

Upon our arrival on our floor, we immediatly were met, nay acouseted, by three Israeli teens, complete in tight t-shirts, no English, and wild libidos. They immediatly began approching girls, and trying to flirt. However, whereas our definition of flirt is 'act coy, make cute comments, and flatter', their definition of flirt is 'act rude, make direct sexual comments, and fondle'. We managed to get the girls away from them, for a little while. Me, and one or two other guys who speak Hebrew went over to them to try and dissuade them. Our conversation went as follows (bear in mind that Im translating this from Hebrew):

Me: Hey
Them: Hey
Me: Where are you guys from?
Them: Around town, and you?
Me: We're all from Canada
Them: Oh, you speak Hebrew very well
Me: I went to Herbew school
Them: Oh, so then, could you do us a favour?
Me: Um...sure
Them: Well, here, if we give you this (hands over handful of coins)-
Me: (interrupting) Wha?
Them: If we give you ten shekels (currency, relative value of a dollar), you get us...pussy
Me: Well, first off (peering into hand) this is 40 Agurot (think 40 cents). Second off, NO
Them: Why not?
Me: Because it's illegal and wrong
Them: It's not wrong! What are you, gay?
Me: Excuse me?
Them: Fine, we'll do it ourselves

At this point, they go over to a girl, who, as it turns out IS very attractive, and start harrassing her. I march over and tell them no, and when they ask why, I lie and say that she has a boyfriend, all the while telling her to run, in French. Good times.

Unfortunatly, this story has a sad footnote. These guys, later on in the week, would manage to abuse some girls. It was sad, but I have to say that the girls knew what they were getting into. If you play with matches, you're bound to get burned.

So thats my interlude for today. Until next time

This is Michael Herman saying "Who says death is bad? God? If you look in the bible, God is the leading cause of death"

PS "And vision-induced halucenations"


At Wednesday, August 31, 2005 10:59:00 PM, Blogger A Cranky Old Jew said...

In case you were wondering (and we all know you were), I did take their money and offer to find them any girls they wanted. 'Cause that's just the kinda guy I am. Ta-dah!

Much love,

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At Thursday, September 01, 2005 11:26:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At Thursday, September 01, 2005 9:38:00 PM, Blogger Erika said...

lol fromstien...I can just picture it!! suck!! *laughs at 3rd anon* Wow, I'm thinkin' i'm gonna stay away from any tight shirted israelies!!

At Thursday, September 01, 2005 9:49:00 PM, Blogger Michael Herman said...

Well, see the problem is that they ALL have tight shirts.

At Thursday, September 01, 2005 10:18:00 PM, Blogger N/A said...

So stay away from all of them

At Friday, September 02, 2005 3:21:00 PM, Blogger Erika said...

I know, i'll just bring you guys along n u can protect me!!


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