Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Yes, I have returned

Much to the chagrin of the Toronto Police, The FCC, and Jewish Mother's everywhere, I managed to survive the Holy Land.

How was it, you may ask? Awesome! I had sooooooooooo much fun, and I loved every minute of it (well, aside from my stint in the hospital).

There were just too many things to describe, so I'll give you the shortlist of the most memorable moments

1) Being asked to be a pimp for two horny Israeli teens
2) Having my clothes stolen while skinny dipping, and having to run back to the rooms naked with Ben, wearing only a guitar (Ben) and a small pair of pants as a loincloth (me)
3) BUTTONS?! (Ask me about this story, its gold)
4) Fyling in what I believe was the first 767 ever built
5) Fighting with an American tourist over how I was translating Polish words using a magazine.
6) Hiking from The Medeterannian to the Galilee
7) Almost being hit by three cars
8) Being hospitalized, and taking a picture of me in a hospital room, hooked up to an IV
9) Buying 500 Shekels worth of groceries, half of which were peanut butter and crackers
10) Visitors weekend, sneaking out of our resort, buying 2 bottles of 20 shekel vodka (1 shekel = .3 CAD, .4 USD), and going to a disco that was really a bomb shelter
10) Being delayed on our flight for 6 hours, and almost getting stopped at customs, becuase, while my friends were smuggling nargila and abstence (sp?) into Canada, I had three apples in my bag.

Well, that list wasnt so short, but I get bored easily, so that's all for now. I will write later, with more detalied stories of my trip.

This is Michael Herman saying: "In the words of Aviva Rosenberg - Taking cigarettes from a smoker is like taking cake from a fat kid"

PS- Especially if the cake is made of cyanide


At Friday, August 12, 2005 8:23:00 PM, Anonymous taryn said...

you -have- returned.
and everyone is happy now. :D

At Monday, August 15, 2005 7:06:00 PM, Blogger Erika said...

buttons? and WHY were u in the hospital??

At Monday, August 15, 2005 8:56:00 PM, Blogger A Cranky Old Jew said...

Ah, buttons, arguably the strangest night of my life. Though Herman really had nothing to do with it, may we all bask in the glory of its hilariousness and potentially life threatening ramifications. Amen.

Also, don't forget the KKK guy in Poland.

Much love,

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All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any
statements that express or involve discussions with respect to predictions,
goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, object'ives, assumptions or
future events or perfo'rmance are not
statements of historical fact and may be
"forward,|ooking statements." forward,|ooking statements are based on expectations,
estimates and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number
of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ
materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from
third party (IR Marketing). Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified
through the use of words such as: "pr0jects", "f0resee", "expects". in compliance with
Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of
this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings
due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shar,es may be sold
at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company.
Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and
opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not
to place undue reliance on
forward,|ooking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations
involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to differ materially
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