Wednesday, August 31, 2005

My Stint in an Israeli Hopsital

Ok, I just got back home from my OTHER trip, to Vancouver and Regina. They're two different cities. The main diff:

Van: "We buy salmon from Haida, to support the Native Fishery"
Reg: " Indians are theifs, and I hate fags"

(both of these are actual quotes...which is scary)

Anyhow, my many readers...ok, A reader, wanted to know about my trip to the hospital. So, without further adieu...

The year, was 2005. The place was Eilat, the part of the Holy Land that God gave to the tribe that he really didnt like. You know, the one with all the blaspheming, and sin. This place is so hot, that I'm pretty sure the reason people first started living there was a dare:

Iqmal: Hey Machmad! I bet you three camels and two wives that you cannot live in the desert for more than a week!

Machmad: IS hot

Iqmal: What are you, an infidel?

Machmad: Fine, I'll do it!

Anyhoo, that racist tangent aside, our group was staying on some Kibbutz, in the desert. Already, I had been warned about the threat of dehydration, so I was drinking lots of water. However, I had a medical condition commonly referred to as 'The Runs' or 'Horrible Diahreah'. So, in essence, all the water I was drinking was coming out the other end. The result? I got dehydrated. Bad.

So, at the end of one day, after three hikes, and a beach day, I decided to take some Imodium for my bowels. Big Mistake. About three seconds later, the Imoduim makes a comeback, along with most of my diet of the previous day (which was pretty bad in and of itself).

The medic comes over and takes my temperature, which is 40 Celcuis (101 Farenheight, for those of you who are idiots). So they tell me to clean myself, and get to bed. Shortly after that, they decide that the best thing for a heat-striken, dehydrated kid is to drag him out of bed at midnight, take him in a cramped compact wiht no AC, to a hospital half an hour away.

So they take me to the hospital in Eilat. We get in, and I am placed between a sick boy, and a dying mother with her daughters. Lovely. They diagnose me with dehydration and gastro-intestinite infections....ya, I understood too. So they stick a needle in my wrist and tell me they'll hook me up to an IV. 15 minutes later, they bring the bag. 15 min later, they hook it up. Israeli effeciency at its best.

I fall asleep, and wake up with the bag half empty, and a horrid cramp in the intestines. I realised that my meds hadnt kicked in yet, and so I hightailed it (IV in tow) to the bathroom, accompanied by a fellow camper. Emerging from the room, I realised that I still had my camera in my pocket from the day's touring. Figuring this to be a once in a lifetime oppertunity, I got my pal to take a photo of me, in a hospital bathroom, giving the thunbs up, hooked up to an IV. If I ever figure out how to master this technology, I will post this picture here.

So, finally at 2 am we left, with me ironically leaving my water bottle on the ER floor. Brilliant, no? I slept the whole next day, and all was well in the Universe.

So that's jsut one of my Israel Stories. I'll post more, assuming it doesn't incriminate me too badly

This is Michael Herman saying "They say money cant buy happiness, but these people have obviously never expreienced hobo's playing tennis in a water tank"

PS "With sharks"


At Tuesday, August 30, 2005 10:48:00 PM, Blogger Long_Division said...

A friend of mine went to Israel for four months and lost thirty pounds because of a stomach parasite. The weird part was that he looked really great (although a little pale) and everyone was jealous.

At Wednesday, August 31, 2005 3:02:00 PM, Blogger Erika said...

Hmm...maybe i DIDN'T want to know:-) Sounds like quite an adventure. Did the lady end up dying? Can't wait 2 hear more stories.


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