Thursday, June 30, 2005

I could really go for a burrito right now

Well, it's been almost a week since I last posted. You know what that means?

Yes, I've had to flee the country again.

But enough about my various legal and non-legal exploits. I dont really have a theme for this week's blog, so prepare to hear me ramble for a while.

All my friend's have left for camp this week, so now I'm all alone. But that's ok. I still have my loyal audience. You won't tie me in a sack and send me down a river with shackles around my ankles in an effort to get rid of me becuase I'm a bad influence on my brothers and a disgrace to the family, leaving me to free myself from the bonds by gnawing through them, pulling myself coughing and sputtering from the river, and live in the woods for three weeks on berries and streamwater, ruining my life, mom and dad? Will you?

Wait, no come back. I have other redeming qualities....I'm rich! That's gotta count for something.

In other news, I have just found out that I will be missing the Ben Folds concert, as I get back to town the same night as the concert, but an hour late. For those of you who don't know, Ben Folds, a pianist and composer of wimpy songs, is one of my guilty pleasures. The other being mailing sugar to White House executives, addressing it to "Those Infidel Pigs, c/o The White House". But what always irritated me was that it took a manner of days for those packages to arrive, but yet, when I want X-Ray specs, or my shipment of old Asian pron, I have to wait 4-6 weeks. And the glasses didn't even work. Worst $150 I ever spent. I had to go back to the old fashioned model (see, 'A Night at Porky's', or 'Any Teen Movie' for examples of the old model).

Umm....having writer's block right now. That's my problem. I can only write something good when inspiration or a blunt object hits me. I still like my idea for my story. Admit it, Deus Ex Machina is the best robot ever. For those of you unfamilliar with my idea, see the post entitled "My Brilliant Story". However, unless you are an English Lit. Professor, or just a genius, you probably wont get it.

In related news, I haven't written anything good since '9 Hours', my angsty tale of self-pity. Still looking to get that bugger published, but I haven't a damn clue how. If I haven't subjected you to it yet, ask, and I'll be sure to punish you by letting you read it. I feel like that German guy, who published that book that caused kids to kill themselves. What was his name....Boll.....Weisman.....Clinton.....something like that.

Using the wonderful tool that is the internet, I have found the author is actually Goethe. Ya, I'm sure you've heard of him too.

Well, I started writing this three days ago, and I just picked it up today. Man, I was really tired. Anyhow, my plane leaves in a few hours. So this will be it, till I can find an internet cafe that will accept human hair as payment. Have a good summer all.

I haven't heard the result of the blog war, but I'll be by after to collect my trophy.

This is Michael Herman saying: If music be the food of love, then surely Avril Lavigne is the contraceptive of love.

PS - PINK FLOYD!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!! THEY ROCK! (Except David Gilmour looks like he would bite your neck and say "You are now von of ze undead!"


At Sunday, July 03, 2005 7:45:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i do know who goethe is. i am a literary genius.

only crazy people will buy your hair... perhaps david gilmour. PINK FLOYD IS MY RELEGION.

just think of all that will have happened by the time u read this. (in doing so u must think of the time i have posted this). now theres a time warp.

and let the summer begin.

At Sunday, July 03, 2005 8:33:00 PM, Blogger still_figuring_out said...

good luck with the hair barter.

At Monday, July 04, 2005 8:42:00 AM, Blogger N/A said...


At Wednesday, July 06, 2005 12:04:00 PM, Blogger anon said...

Oh dearest Herman--
Don't worry about the human hair thing; cock grabbing is the international signal for "I need $$$". That should work just fine. On a side note, I went out with D last night, and he totally bit me.
Furthermore, here are some things you might want to have in Israel--
1) Notebook
2) Pen
3) Jedi-like-cock-grabbing abilities
4) The knowledge that win or lose, you've been a fine contestant in this that is, "The Blog Wars".

At Sunday, July 10, 2005 9:10:00 PM, Blogger N/A said...

Ok, so I read this a week after I posted that capslock comment, and it was really funny. Yay Herman!


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